Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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