I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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