Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
