you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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