it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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