when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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