I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I intend to get homeless drunk
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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