i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize