The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
