What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize