margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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