The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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