3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
