this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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