She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
