the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
