Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
