She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Did I show you my penis last night?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
