i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
