I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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