yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
