i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
