I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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