I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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