there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
