At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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