i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize