you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize