i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
