i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
