maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
