Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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