I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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