How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
