yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Randomize
