If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
