Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
handjob tips. give me some.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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