His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
