At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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