my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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