God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
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He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
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But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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