i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
