Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
