I looked at my own cervix.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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