No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
