Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i already hear my dad disowning me
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize