Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize