i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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