I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
COCAINE IS GR8
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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