Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
