A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
