I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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