Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
