My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste