Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.