Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds